相信大家一定已经遇到过这种情况:你对面的人向你走来,不仅靠的非常非常近,还将他的脸颊贴在你的脸上,同时还发出空气中发出亲吻的声音!不管你对这种行为感到习惯还是抵触,这都是你需要了解的一种习俗。今天,让我们一起来讨论:贴面礼。
I'm pretty sure you already have encountered this situation: the person in front of you walkforwards you, get very close and press his cheeks against yours while giving a "smack" in the air. Whether you are disgusted or totally accustomedto it, this is a practice you need to know, especially if you are keen to livethrough different cultural milieus. Let’s review the dos and don'ts of the cheek kissing etiquette together.
威廉·布格罗:《初吻》
William Bouguereau, “The first kiss”
贴面礼是什么?
What Is The Cheek Kissing?
正确的行为:贴面礼是一种打招呼的方式——将你的脸颊分别和对方的脸颊贴在一起,并同时发出亲吻的声音。只是发出亲吻的声音哦!
How to do it: It is a way to greet somebody you are meeting by pressing your cheeks one by one against his cheeks, with a little smack only in the air.
错误的行为:在行贴面礼的时候直接亲吻对方的脸颊。并且,我也不建议你行一个“空气贴面礼”,因为如果你没有将你的脸颊贴在对方的脸上,对方会认为你对他或她印象不好。
What should you avoid to do: to give a kiss on the cheek directly. Also, I don’t recommend you to do an “air-kiss”, a cheek kiss without touching the cheek, you would give the impression you do not like each other.
贴面礼的来源是什么?
Where Does It Come From?
“吻”的年龄跟人类物种一样古老,每一个文明对“吻还是不吻“、”怎么吻”都有自己法则。罗马人是第一个实行“亲脸颊”的种族,他们以此作为熟识的人之间打招呼的方式。
Kisses are as old as the world, every civilisation had its own code regarding how to kiss each other –or not! Romans were the first to practice the "basium", a cheek kiss as recognition between 2 persons who know each other.
上古时期的吻
Kiss in the Antiquity
在中世纪的时候,中产阶级的人们开始行贴面礼了,而皇宫贵族们还互相嘴对嘴亲吻。14世纪时黑死病盛行,由于害怕被传染,欧洲人们不敢再与任何人有任何肢体接触,更别说贴面礼或是嘴对嘴的亲吻了!因此,贴面礼直到20世纪的时候才重新在欧洲出现。
During the Middle-age the bourgeois used to do the cheek kissing, while noblemen were kissing each other on the lips. But during the 14th century the Black Death pushed the Europeans not to touch people they don’t know, in order to avoid to be contaminated. The cheek kiss reappeared only in the early 20th century.
1286年,英格兰国王爱德华一世(左)正在向法国国王腓力四世(右)表达敬意
The king of France Philippe IV (on the right) is receiving the homage from the king of England Edward I (on the left) in 1286.
在工作场合可以行贴面礼吗?
Should You Do The Cheek Kiss At Your Work Place?
通常来说,答案是否定的,因为那样会显得太过于亲密而不正式。一般来说,在任何工作场合都不应该有亲吻(包括贴面吻)的出现,握手是更好的选择。
No: It would be too familiar. Generally you should never kiss anyone in a professional environment; you shake hands instead for the first contact.
除非,你的客户、同事,或是老板主动向你伸来脸颊,那意味着他认为你们的关系已经达到了某种非常亲密的程度,并且他非常欣赏你,这种欣赏不仅仅出于工作层面,更多是个人层面的,而他正在用这种方式像你表达这种欣赏。这时候应该怎么做呢?我建议,恭敬不如从命,愉快地接受吧!
Yes: If a client, a colleague or your manager starts cheek kissing you it means your relations have reach a certain level, this person appreciates you personally and not only professionally. He or she wants to give you a form of privilege in the way of greeting you. I advise you to take it as an honour.
另外,在一些拥有拉丁文化背景的国家(比如意大利或者一些南美的国家),你可能会发现贴面礼居然出现在第一次正式会面中!不必惊讶,入乡随俗嘛。
In some country of latin culture (Italy, South America…) you may receive a cheek kiss from your first professional meeting. Don’t be surprised; just go with the local customs.
日常社交中的贴面礼
In Your Social Life
一般来说,在第一次会面中,人们通常会握手而不是行贴面礼。然而,如果这第一次会面是在一个非常轻松休闲的环境中,女性可以与男性或是另一名女性互行贴面礼。男性和男性之间一般是不行贴面礼的。但是近年来,在年轻人之间,男性与男性的贴面礼似乎也开始流行了起来。
If you don't know a person, you will shake your hands. But in a casual environment, women can do a cheek kiss with a man or another woman during the first meet. Recently, young men tend to practice more and more the cheek kiss between them.
法国前总统夫人Carla Bruni正在和西班牙王后Letizia行贴面礼
Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, the former France’s first lady, doing a cheek kiss with Letizia, Queen of Spain
世界各地的贴面礼习俗
The Cheek Kiss In The World
你知道贴面礼应该从那一侧脸颊开始吗?应该贴几下呢?其实,在不同的国家有不同行贴面礼的习惯。现在,让我们看看贴面礼在不同地区的使用方法。
Do you know which cheek should you present first, and how many kisses should you give? It actually depends from the countries. Let review them together, I will help you to be successful in your next cultural exchanges.
欧洲 EUROPE
贴面礼在法国最为常见,但是行贴面礼的习惯在法国各个地区是非常不同的。我的建议是:先从右脸颊开始,贴两下,这是最不容易出错的做法了!
France is the country where it is the most common, but the practice is very different from one region to another. My advice: if you want to do the cheek kiss with a French erson, start with the right cheek and do 2 kisses, you have the least chance to get wrong!
在欧洲的西部,比利时和荷兰等国家,贴面礼都从右脸颊开始。不同的是,在比利时,人们只贴一下,在荷兰则贴三下。
Western Europe: In Belgium and in the Netherlands, you should do the cheek-kiss, both start with the right cheek. But in you should do rather 1 in Belgium, but 3 in the Netherlands.
在欧洲的南部,贴面礼作为打招呼的方式是非常常见的,做好心理准备哦!在西班牙和葡萄牙,人们从右脸颊开始;在意大利和希腊则从左边开始,都是贴两下。
In Southern Europe, cheek-kiss as a way of greetings is extremely common, so be prepared! You start with the right cheek first in Spain and Portugal, the left in Italy and Greece, with 2 kisses.
欧洲的东部也是贴面爱好者的聚集地,尤其是在俄罗斯,人们通常贴两下或是三下。
Eastern Europe is a region of kissers too, especially in Russia, with 2 or 3 kisses.
只有在欧洲的北部,你会发现很少有人愿意与你行贴面礼。在英国,贴面礼并不是很常见,但是它正渐渐地在中产阶级和上层阶级中时兴起来。在德国或是北欧,即使是在熟识的人之间,人们也不太行贴面礼。
Northern Europe is the only area where you will encounter few persons willing to do a cheek kiss with you. In the United-Kingdom it is not common, but it is starting to be fashionable in the middle and upper class. In Germany and Scandinavia, 2 persons who know each other very well might do it.
美洲 AMERICA
在美国和加拿大的英语区,人们不行贴面礼。但近期由于一些电影和媒体的原影响力,贴面礼也渐渐被人们所熟知了。在加拿大的法语区,人们从左脸颊开始,贴两次。
In the United-States and in the English-speakingpart of Canada the cheek-kiss is not used, although it is getting morewidespread due to the influence of movies and some Medias. In theFrench-speaking Canada you will do 2 kisses starting with the left cheek.
然而,如果你到南美洲去旅游,你会发现人们非常频繁地行贴面礼,尤其在阿根廷和乌拉圭等南部国家。
If you travel through Southern America you will notice how frequent it is for people to greet each other with a cheek kiss. In southern countries like Argentina or Uruguay men also often practice the cheek-kiss.
中东 MIDDLE EAST
在阿拉伯国家,贴面礼在同性之间是比较常见的,但在异性之间则绝不会发生。根据国家的不同,有时贴两下,有时贴三下。
In the Arab world the cheek-kiss is a common way for greetings between 2 men or 2 women, but not between 2 different genders. 2 or 3 kisses, depending on the country.
亚洲 ASIA
除了在菲律宾和印度尼西亚的某些地区以外,人们不用贴面礼来打招呼。相反的,甚至在有些亚洲国家,人们认为用脸去贴对方是一种冒犯的、令人不快的行为。
Excepting in Philippines and in some parts of Indonesia, the cheek kiss is not an appropriate way of greetings iAsia. On the contrary it is considered as an offensive, or even disgusting action in several Asian cultures.
如果你非常不喜欢贴面礼,我可以告诉你一个最简单直接的方法:主动与对方握手!
If you are really disgusted by the cheek-kiss I can give you a very simple solution to avoid it: stretch your hand first!
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