四六级精读 | 如何才能对某些事物不那么上瘾？|sense|主句|主语|从句|分句|复合句

今天是小芳老师陪你精读外刊的第143天

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When it comes to first impressions, we all want to make a good one. And that’s why we tend to focus on our best traits and qualities. However, we often fall into the trap of thinking that everything about us needs to be perfect. But that’s just unrealistic. We all have imperfections. It’s part of being human. And while it’s easy to believe that our ‘supposed flaws and imperfections’ make us less attractive, here are some that can actually make us seem more appealing to others:

Many of us are prey to addictive behaviours which we know run contrary to our deeper interests but which we find ourselves entirely unable to desist from at key moments.

Let’s pick three of these: bulimia, porn addiction and alcoholism.

We well appreciate, as soon as we come out of the tunnel of addiction, that we have neglected our interests and harmed ourselves. And yet we are at a loss as to what we might do. What, if anything, could help?

One kind of answer is this: we should try to notice when the desire to regurgitate food or watch porn or drink strikes us.

Though this might sound strange, those in the grip of addictions seldom do notice. They don’t pay much attention to what has immediately happened before their desires strike; it doesn’t occur to them that anything has.

And yet if they did look into themselves, and studied the answers very carefully, they would have an important weapon with which to escape the downward spiral. And that’s because, to make another generalisation: before there is ever an addictive behaviour, there is always a moment of feeling bad, very, very bad, about something.

The triggers can be varied: a partner may not be as warm as they should be; or someone at work seems disapproving and mean; or one has been left out, perhaps not for the first time, of a social occasion.

In other words, the triggers for addictive self-harming behaviours are rooted in such emotions as loneliness, shame, a sense of unacceptability, a feeling of rejection or a belief one is not good enough.

The addictive pattern is only a response, a part b) to a part a) that we are not used to exploring. Addiction has nothing to do with loving what one is addicted to, it’s to do with finding relief from a prior pain which has not been understood or addressed. For a time, the addictive behaviour offers a kind of soothing and escape from an intolerable discomfort: vomiting after a meal brings a sense of lightness, porn leads one into a series of physical highs, a state of drunkenness stills critical voices.

The way to start to break the pattern of addiction is simply to realise – before we have rushed to the addictive solution – that we are in trouble. That we have, for whatever reason, grown very sad and hopeless about ourselves and therefore that we are in a danger zone and need help now, rather than in a few hours.

We have to become better historians and observers of our moods and aim to put a gap – in time and in mental activity – between the moment when we are hurt and the moment when we reach for our self-destructive solution.

If we manage to slow down the process, then we should be able to wake ourselves up from our narcotic impulses and say, in a profoundly helpful way: ‘I’m upset’. Just the realisation that we are so is half the battle at least. ‘I’m feeling deeply upset and therefore I am in danger.’

And from here, we can ask another extremely pertinent set of questions: ‘What am I upset about? How am I upset?’ We may need to close our eyes and just sit still for a moment to let the answer percolate from the unconscious.

Alternatively, we might try and complete the following sentence: ‘I am currently feeling upset because…’

It’s one of the quirks of the strange brains we all have that it can take so long to know what we are feeling and to understand what might have caused it.

When we do start to notice our upset, then we can begin the business of self-soothing in more fruitful ways. One side can run an arm around the other and say, in effect, ‘poor you. How awful to be feeling awful again…’

Almost certainly in early life, no one had much sympathy or the remotest bit of interest in our feelings of loss, self-hatred and abandonment (that’s why we find it so hard to get interested in them ourselves). But we can patch up the damage. We can ask: ‘How am I feeling about myself?’ And ‘what’s happened to give me that feeling?’

We can replace addiction with self-compassion and understanding. No one falls prey to addictions by coincidence: the behaviours always have roots in an intense, normally childhood derived sense of being a terrible unworthy person.

In summary: the route to stopping addictive behaviour is to ask oneself how one is feeling; realise one is probably feeling very bad; grow curious about and sympathetic to the causes – and then ask: ‘what would be a better, kinder way of handling this sense of awfulness?’

Knowing that there is room – and love – for the feeling that provokes addiction is the key to weakening the hold of, and one day overcoming, what we are addicted to.

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单词

Addictive behaviors：成瘾性行为
Bulimia：厌食症
Porn addiction：色情成瘾
Alcoholism：酗酒
Neglect：忽视
Trigger：触发器
Loneliness：孤独
Shame：羞耻感
Self-destructive：自毁的
Self-compassion：自我同情

例句及翻译：

Many people struggle with addictive behaviors like alcoholism, which can have a devastating impact on their lives.（许多人都在与酗酒等成瘾性行为作斗争，这些行为可能对他们的生活产生毁灭性的影响。）
Bulimia is a serious eating disorder characterized by binge eating and purging.（厌食症是一种严重的进食障碍，以狂吃和反酸为特征。）
Porn addiction is a growing concern among young people, and can lead to problems in relationships and mental health.（色情成瘾是年轻人面临的一个日益严重的问题，可能导致关系问题和心理健康问题。）
Alcoholism can be treated with therapy and medication, but it requires a strong commitment to sobriety.（酗酒可以通过治疗和药物治疗来治疗，但需要强烈的戒酒承诺。）
Neglecting our own interests can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.（忽视自己的利益会导致一种不满和不幸感。）
Triggers for addictive behavior can be rooted in a variety of emotions, such as loneliness, shame, and rejection.（成瘾行为的触发器可能根植于各种情绪，如孤独，羞耻和拒绝。）
Loneliness can be a difficult emotion to deal with, but there are ways to cope and find support.（孤独可能是一种难以应对的情感，但有办法应对和找到支持。）
Shame can be a powerful emotion that holds us back from pursuing our goals and dreams.（羞耻是一种强大的情感，阻止我们追求我们的目标和梦想。）
Self-destructive behavior can be a way of coping with difficult emotions, but it ultimately harms us in the long run.（自毁行为可能是应对困难情绪的一种方式，但从长远来看，它最终会伤害我们。）
Practicing self-compassion means treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and empathy.（练习自我同情意味着以善良、理解和同理心对待自己。）

句型

解析：这是一个复合句，以冒号引出一个并列结构，后面的三个分句并列并用了三个可能的触发因素，都是由"or"连接的。其中，每个分句又包含了一个主语和一个谓语动词，如"a partner may not be as warm as they should be"。每个分句都在陈述一个触发因素。

解析：这是一个复合句，以冒号引出一个并列结构，后面是一个包含四个分句的主句，描述了解决成瘾行为的路线。其中，第一个分句是一个独立的分句，描述了通过询问自己的情感状态来开始解决问题。第二个分句是一个从句，以"realize"为动词，描述了意识到自己可能正在经历糟糕的感觉。第三个分句是一个并列分句，以"and"引出，描述了要对成瘾的根源产生好奇心和同情心。第四个分句是一个独立的分句，描述了通过寻找更好、更温柔的处理方式来解决糟糕感觉的问题。

回答问题

Reading Questions

What are the three addictive behaviours mentioned in the passage?
A) Smoking, gambling and overeating
B) Drinking, drug use and excessive shopping
C) Bulimia, porn addiction and alcoholism
D) Internet addiction, exercise addiction and work addiction
What is the root of addictive self-harming behaviours?
A) Physical pleasure
B) A sense of unacceptability and rejection
C) Loneliness and boredom
D) A lack of self-control
According to the passage, what is the key to weakening the hold of addiction?
A) Seeking professional help
B) Understanding the root of addiction
C) Engaging in self-destructive behaviour
D) Ignoring negative emotions