雅思写作|20组6分与7.5分的表达对比(含分析)
1
6分:Many people think that studying at university can help them get a good job in the future.
原因:句式简单,表达直接,词汇普通(“think”, “good job”),没有使用任何复杂结构或词汇。
7.5分:It is widely believed that pursuing higher education significantly enhances one’s prospects of securing a desirable career.
高级点:使用被动语态(It is widely believed),更正式;“pursuing higher education”替代“studying at university”;词汇更精准(“significantly enhances”, “prospects”, “desirable career”)。
2
6分:Some people say that children should learn from a young age how to use computers.
原因:句式结构简单,“some people say”是常见开头;表达缺乏细节或专业词汇。
7.5分:There is a growing consensus that early exposure to computer skills is essential for children’s development in the digital era.
高级点:使用短语“growing consensus”代替“some people say”;“early exposure to computer skills”更准确;“essential for... development”结构正式,且加上背景“digital era”。
3
6分:Pollution is a big problem in cities because of many cars and factories.
原因:词汇简单,“big problem”,“many cars and factories”缺乏准确描述。
7.5分:Urban pollution, primarily driven by vehicular emissions and industrial activities, poses a severe threat to public health and the environment.
高级点:具体术语“vehicular emissions”,“industrial activities”;句式更复杂,加入状语“primarily driven by”;使用“poses a severe threat”表达更强烈且正式。
4
6分:It is good for people to take part in sports because it helps them stay healthy.
原因:句子结构单一且用词重复,“good”, “helps them stay healthy”表达平淡。
7.5分:Engaging regularly in physical activities not only promotes physical fitness but also contributes to mental well-being.
高级点:使用动名词短语“Engaging regularly in physical activities”;句式多样化(not only... but also...);词汇更丰富且专业。
5
6分:Many people believe that using public transport is better than driving a car.
原因:表达口语化,词汇简单,“better than driving a car”缺乏深度。
7.5分:An increasing number of individuals advocate for public transportation as a more sustainable and efficient alternative to private vehicles.
高级点:“An increasing number of individuals advocate for”正式且学术;使用“sustainable and efficient alternative”增加表达深度和说服力。
6
6分:Some people think that the government should spend more money on education than on building roads.
原因:句式常见且直白,“spend more money”重复简单词汇。
7.5分:It is argued that allocating greater financial resources to the education sector rather than infrastructure projects could yield long-term societal benefits.
高级点:使用被动语态“It is argued that”;“allocating greater financial resources”正式表达资金分配;“yield long-term societal benefits”表达清晰且学术。
7
6分:Technology has changed the way people communicate with each other.
原因:用词和句型基础,“has changed the way”普通表达。
7.5分:Technological advancements have fundamentally transformed interpersonal communication, bridging distances and facilitating instant interaction.
高级点:“Technological advancements”高级名词短语;“fundamentally transformed”替换“changed”;加入了修饰语“bridging distances and facilitating instant interaction”,句式丰富。
8
6分:People like to live in cities because there are more jobs and entertainment.
原因:句子简短,词汇简单,表达直接。
7.5分:Urban living attracts many due to its abundant employment opportunities and diverse cultural and recreational offerings.
高级点:“Urban living attracts many”表达更地道;用“abundant employment opportunities”替代“more jobs”;“diverse cultural and recreational offerings”丰富了表达内容。
9
6分:Some people say that children should spend more time playing outside instead of using electronic devices.
原因:句式和词汇平淡,“say that”, “spend more time”普遍表达。
7.5分:Many advocate for children to engage more frequently in outdoor activities to counterbalance the excessive screen time associated with electronic gadgets.
高级点:使用“Many advocate for”更正式;“engage more frequently in outdoor activities”表达更准确;“counterbalance the excessive screen time”增加了因果逻辑和复杂性。
10
6分:Reading books can help people learn new things and improve their knowledge.
原因:表达重复,“help people learn new things”简单口语。
7.5分:Reading extensively is an effective way to acquire new information and broaden one’s intellectual horizons.
高级点:“Reading extensively”具体且准确;“acquire new information”正式用词;“broaden intellectual horizons”提升表达高度。
无论你是冲击写作7+,还是想让口语表达更加灵活、有逻辑、带深度,这些词伙都将是你提分路上的“必备语料”。让你的语言不再平淡、句式不再重复,真正实现从“能说能写”到“说得高级、写得出彩”的飞跃!点击购买:
雅思写作+口语2000地道词伙
11
6分:Some people believe that the internet has made life easier for everyone.
缘由:句型基础,词汇重复且一般(“made life easier”);表达缺少细节和深度。
7.5分:It is widely accepted that the internet has revolutionized daily life by providing unprecedented access to information and services.
亮点:被动结构更正式(“It is widely accepted”),动词“revolutionized”更强烈且准确,细节丰富。
12
6分:Many people travel to other countries to learn about different cultures.
缘由:表达简单直接,缺少复杂句式和丰富词汇(“travel to other countries”,“learn about”普通搭配)。
7.5分:International travel offers invaluable opportunities to immerse oneself in diverse cultures and broaden one’s global perspective.
亮点:使用了名词短语“invaluable opportunities”,动词“immerse oneself”更高级,表达更加正式生动。
13
6分:Some people think that children should study a foreign language from an early age.
缘由:用词和句式普通,缺少因果关系和具体细节。
7.5分:Early foreign language education is considered crucial for cognitive development and enhancing future career prospects.
亮点:更正式的主语“Early foreign language education”,用词精准,“cognitive development”和“career prospects”显得专业。
14
6分:Many people like to watch movies for entertainment after work or school.
缘由:结构单一,缺少论证深度,词汇重复。
7.5分:Watching films is a popular leisure activity that helps individuals unwind and escape from daily stress.
亮点:引入“popular leisure activity”,表达目的“unwind and escape from daily stress”,更丰富和自然。
15
6分:The government should do more to protect the environment from pollution.
缘由:句式简单,词汇平淡,缺少理由和结果的衔接。
7.5分:Governments must implement stringent policies to mitigate environmental degradation and safeguard natural resources.
亮点:使用“implement stringent policies”表达具体行动,更学术,动词“mitigate”和“safeguard”用词高级。
16
6分:Some people believe that children should help with household chores to learn responsibility.
缘由:表达直接,句型简单,缺少修饰词和多样表达。
7.5分:Encouraging children to participate in household tasks fosters a sense of responsibility and practical life skills.
亮点:更正式且有说服力的表达,“Encouraging... fosters”,增加了“practical life skills”。
17
6分:Many people like to eat fast food because it is quick and convenient.
缘由:表达平淡,句式和词汇缺乏变化。
7.5分:The popularity of fast food stems from its convenience and the fast-paced lifestyles prevalent in modern society.
亮点:更学术的因果表达,“stems from”,“fast-paced lifestyles”丰富语义。
18
6分:Some people think that sports stars should be good role models for young people.
缘由:句子结构简单,缺少修饰和具体细节。
7.5分:It is widely expected that athletes serve as positive role models, inspiring youth through their dedication and discipline.
亮点:更正式结构,“It is widely expected that...”,动词“serve as”,加入具体行为“inspiring youth”。
19
6分:Many people prefer to live in small towns because they are quieter and safer.
缘由:表达简单,句式和词汇缺少变化。
7.5分:Small towns appeal to many due to their tranquil environment and lower crime rates compared to bustling cities.
亮点:用更生动的词汇“tranquil environment”,对比“lower crime rates”和“bustling cities”,句子更具体丰富。
20
6分:Some people believe that learning history is important to understand the present.
缘由:句式平直,表达缺少深度和逻辑衔接。
7.5分:Studying history is essential for comprehending contemporary society and avoiding the repetition of past mistakes.
亮点:用词精准“comprehending contemporary society”,表达目的更具体,“avoiding repetition”带有警示色彩。
热门跟贴