适度的爱，才能成就温暖的晚年|shtmlhttp|所有积蓄

退休以后，真的能把“心安自在”当成生活的主旋律吗？我们对儿女的关爱，是无条件还是有底线？尤其是“给钱”的方式，是否已经悄悄影响了自己晚年的幸福感？

这些年，我一直在思考一个问题，到底什么才是正确的亲情模式？我身边的许多朋友，几乎每一次聚会，话题总绕不开“儿女要不要经常资助”“该不该直接给钱”等等。听到各种故事之后，我愈发觉得，给钱的方式，比钱的多少，更能设定你与儿女间的温度。

亲情不是单向的施舍，而是一场温柔的互动

我们都曾有过“只要孩子好，什么都给”的冲动。当内心被“老有所依”的美好愿望填满时，却常常忽略了：一味付出、盲目给予，长远来看，不仅可能让孩子丧失成长空间，也让自己逐渐陷入了被依赖、难以自处的境地。

有些人说，退休金就是为儿女准备的。但真心讲，这样的念头，或许会让子女习惯于伸手，而不是主动担当。亲情之间，该有温度，也该有分寸和界限。我们的钱，可以帮助他们，但更应该激励他们自立；我们的心意，可以温暖彼此，但最好不要无人回应。

学会智慧地给予，让关系更加融洽

很多时候，我们“给钱”的姿态，决定了家庭气氛。偶尔支持、偶尔提醒，比一次性给到“够用”为好。http://h5.66600310.cn/static/256084.shtml
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http://h5.hnjydgs.com/hangye/700573.shtml比如：遇到子女遇到困难时，伸出援手，但也鼓励他们迎难而上；提供一定的经济支持，但在关键节点上提出建议，而非无条件满足。