跟谁相处都大方，看似是外在表现，其实是内在修行|不完美|内在修行|结巴|错话

你是否有过这样的经历？在陌生人面前，无论多么想表现得自信从容，可偏偏心跳加速、说话结巴，连手都不知道该往哪里放。有时在熟人聚会里，被团体气氛烘托，却总感觉自己像个多余的人；或者，与上司和长辈交谈，总是胆怯唯唯诺诺，说不上几句话便想找个理由逃离。

为什么别人能在不同场合自由游走，从容大方地谈笑风生，而你却被“我是不是不够好”“会不会说错话”这些内心的小声音束缚着呢？

其实，和谁相处都大大方方的秘诀，真的只有一个：你要先与自己和解。

倩倩曾是我认识的一位同事，能力强、外貌好、业绩一流。但每当遇到领导或客户，她却常常低头小声说话，从不敢直视别人的眼睛。有一次部门聚餐，明明她早就准备好了主题发言，却因为害怕被嘲笑，整个过程脸红手抖，不得不提前退场。

可三年后再见倩倩，她俨然已经变了一个人。在公开场合侃侃而谈，即便面对上百人的讲座也不再胆怯。有朋友问她：“你怎么可以转变得这么大？是有人帮你吗？”倩倩笑着摇头，说：“没人帮我，是我曾经受够了扭扭捏捏地活着，才愿意听听自己内心最真实的声音。”

她坦言，过去的自卑来自于内心对自己的不认可。害怕别人评价，猜忌别人是否认同自己，每一句话都犹豫再三。后来她开始尝试接纳自己的每个部分，不管好的坏的，只要是自己的感受，她便允许它出现。当她认同了自己的全部，她便可以坦坦荡荡面对任何人。

这样的例子，并非特例。我的朋友小林，大学刚毕业那会儿参加社交场合，因为来自小城镇，总觉得自己配不上那些大城市的同事。每次自我介绍都支支吾吾，主动发言几乎为零。http://wap.suiyunscm.com/wnews/359364.shtml
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http://wap.jiufenz.com/wnews/098108.shtml直到有次团队建设，他被逼着做小组组长，本以为会出丑，但反而因为对方案有独到见解，获得了大家的认可。那一刻，他突然明白，对方究竟欣赏他什么，并不是口音、学历，而是真实和自信。只要认真地表达自己，坦率面对不足，对方自然会放下戒备，甚至更乐于与你沟通。