用坦诚和新的眼光，重新认识那个平凡又复杂的父亲|坦诚|平凡|父子关系

首先，是父权光环的褪色。曾经的家庭里，“父亲”像是一道高墙，富有威信，承担着主要经济压力。可在今天，信息的流动彻底打破了家庭内部的信息壁垒，孩子们能用各种方式观察父亲的一言一行。那些原本被包裹起来的软肋，无处遁形。父亲的失落、无力、甚至些许逃避责任，都呈现在子女眼前。这种距离感被拉近后，很多光环也就自然消解了。

其次，交流的缺失让父子关系变得单薄。从小到大，许多人都习惯了和母亲沟通琐事，父亲似乎总是在“缺席”。其实，很多父亲并不是故意不参与，只是表达方式还停留在上一代，他们不会用温和的语言，而选择用行动关心。可是，这种“沉默”的爱，容易被误读成冷漠。等到子女有更多的比较维度，自然对比出“父亲其实没那么好”。

还有一个关键点，现代社会对于“成功”的标准套在每个人身上。很多父亲就是普普通通的人，他们没有丰厚财富，也没有太多见识。孩子们见多识广之后，对自己的父亲反而生出“你也不过如此”的轻视。其实，这种想法很多时候忽略了父亲默默承担的小事——他为家庭提前喝下所有的委屈和压力，为小家筑下底线。

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http://m.nutsec.cn/mnews/76099.shtml再深入一点，有些孩子之所以瞧不起父亲，是因为没看到他们的“成长”。不少父亲在成长的过程中，因为生活重压选择停滞在某一个阶段，他们被迫收起兴趣，不再有人生规划，好像生活只剩下一成不变的奔波。这种状态，让年轻人难以产生敬佩。可实际上，世界上大多数父亲都只是普通人，他们唯一不普通的地方，就是扛下了自己能扛的那一份。