作者 王永利
白居易的《卖炭翁》,寥寥数笔,写尽一位底层劳动者的辛酸与无奈,也藏着中国古人最朴素的人道情怀与社会关怀。这样一首诞生于千年之前的唐诗,想要真正走向世界,翻译的“信”,必须忠于原作的风骨与悲悯;“达”,必须跨越语言的通畅与理解;“雅”,必须承载东方的诗意与审美。
白居易(772年2月28日—846年9月8日),字乐天,号香山居士、醉吟先生,华州下邽(今陕西渭南东北)人。作为唐代杰出诗人,白居易留下了约30万字的作品,其中存诗约2900首,其数量在唐代诗人中名列前茅。《卖炭翁》是白居易组诗《新乐府五十首》中的第三十二首。其题下作者自注云:“苦宫市也。”白居易写作《新乐府》是在元和初年,这正是宫市为害最深的时候。“宫市”的“宫”指皇宫,“市”是买的意思。白居易对宫市有十分深入的调查和了解,对人民又有深切的同情,所以才能写出这首感人至深的《卖炭翁》。
白居易·《卖炭翁》
卖炭翁,伐薪烧炭南山中。
满面尘灰烟火色,两鬓苍苍十指黑。
卖炭得钱何所营?身上衣裳口中食。
可怜身上衣正单,心忧炭贱愿天寒。
夜来城外一尺雪,晓驾炭车碾冰辙。
牛困人饥日已高,市南门外泥中歇。
翩翩两骑来是谁?黄衣使者白衫儿。
手把文书口称赦,回车叱牛牵向北。
一车炭,千余斤,宫使驱将惜不得。
半匹红纱一丈绫,系向牛头充炭直。
今天我们首先来看看汉学家宇文所安的译作:
The Old Charcoal Seller
What am I thinking of, when I turn toward the palace gate?
The old charcoal seller—
He cuts firewood in the southern hills and burns it into charcoal.
His face, covered with dust and smoke, shows the color of ash and earth;
The hair at his temples is gray, his ten fingers black.
By selling charcoal, how does he earn his keep?
The clothes on his back, the food he eats—
The clothes on his back are so thin he’s cold, but he wishes it were colder.
Last night, a full foot of snow fell outside the city;
At dawn, he drives his charcoal cart over the frozen ruts.
The ox is weary, the man is hungry; as the sun climbs high,
Outside the south gate of the market, they rest on the mud.
Who are those two prancing ones who appear?
A palace messenger in a white-lined robe, his follower in yellow.
In his hand he holds a writ, which he says comes from the Emperor;
Then they turn the cart around, curse the ox, and lead it northward.
One cartload of charcoal—a thousand catties’ weight—
The palace messengers drive it off, and it’s hard to begrudge them.
They throw a length of red silk and ten feet of raw silk
Onto the ox’s head, as payment for the charcoal.
(摘自宇文所安(Stephen Owen)主编的AnAnthology of Chinese Literature: Beginnings to 1911 《中国文学选集:从开端到 1911 年》 W. W. Norton & Company 诺顿出版社,于1996年出版,第572-573页。)
这是一个非常经典的英译版本,具体分析如下:
优点:
一是,标题的准确。“The Old Charcoal Seller” 直译为“老卖炭翁”,准确传达了原诗的中心人物,既保留了“卖炭”的职业,也保留了“翁”的年老意味,比单纯译为“The Charcoal Seller”更好。
二是,叙事清晰流畅:译文整体上是一首完整的、可读性很强的英文叙事诗。宇文所安采用了流畅的现代英语句法和节奏,让不熟悉中文的读者也能轻松跟随故事的发展,这是其作为教学和普及译本的最大成功之处。
三是,关键细节翻译到位:如“两骑翩翩”的翻译,用“prancing”(昂首阔步、神气活现)一词精妙地传达了宫使骑马飞驰、趾高气扬的神态。“黄衣使者白衫儿”,通过“palacemessenger”明确了其官方身份,并用“white-lined robe”和“yellow”保留了颜色细节。“半匹红纱一丈绫”:译为“a length of red silk and ten feet ofraw silk”,单位换算(丈 to feet)合理,让英语读者能直观理解“价值不对等”的掠夺本质。
可商榷之处:
首先,文化意象的简化或丢失:如“回车叱牛”译为“turn the cart around, curse the ox” 用“curse”(叱骂)很到位,但中文“叱”字短促有力的音效感丢失了。“系向牛头充炭直”译为“throw...onto the ox's head”(系、挂)这个具体动作变成了更笼统的“throw”(扔),宫使的轻蔑与敷衍态度被减弱了一些。“it’s hard to begrudge them” 译意扭曲。原诗“惜不得”是老翁“舍不得却无可奈何”,而该译法直译为“很难怨恨他们”,完全扭曲了原诗的情感——老翁并非“不怨恨”,而是“不敢怨恨、无力反抗”。
其次,韵律与诗歌形式的牺牲。宇文所安的译本采用的是流畅的散文化英语,而非格律诗体。诗味的淡化:虽然它读起来很顺畅,像是一个动人的故事,但《卖炭翁》原诗是古体诗,具有强烈的节奏感和音乐性。宇文所安的译本放弃了押韵和固定的音步,对于期待读到“像诗一样”的英文的读者来说,可能会觉得它更像一个分段讲述的散文故事。
此外,译本的首句为“What am Ithinking of, when I turn toward the palace gate?”(当我望向宫门时,我在想什么?)。此句在白居易原诗《卖炭翁》中并不存在。这很可能不是对原诗本身的翻译,而是宇文所安在其编选的《诺顿中国文学作品选》中,为这首诗所加的、他自己创作的“引言”或“题解”。原文 “黄衣使者白衫儿” 为唐代宫市制度的典型服饰:黄衣使者是品级较高的宦官,白衫儿是其手下的小吏 / 仆役,而宇文所安译本将其译为 “a palace messenger in awhite-lined robe, his follower in yellow”(白衣使者、黄衣随从),服饰颜色与身份对应完全颠倒。“how does he earn his keep?” 译为“他如何谋生?”,“earnone's keep”虽有“谋生”之意,但偏口语化,且暗含“值得被供养 的语义,更适合用于描述付出劳动换取基本生活保障的普通场景,与卖炭翁被压榨、朝不保夕的绝境形成违和感。
总之,宇文所安的这个译本是一个出色的学术化、散文化意译。
接下来,我们看看许渊冲大师的译作:
The Old Charcoal Seller
Bai Juyi Translated by Xu Yuanchong
What does the old man fare?
He cuts the wood in southern hill and fires his ware.
His face is grimed with smoke and streaked with ash and dust,
His temples grizzled and his fingers all turned black.
The money earned by selling charcoal is not just enough forfood for his mouth and clothing for his back.
Though his coat is thin, he hopes winter will set in,
For cold weather will keep up the charcoal’sgood price.
At night a foot of snow falls outside city walls;
At dawn his charcoal cart crushes ruts in the ice.
The sun is high, the ox tired out and hungry he;
Outside the southern gate is snow and slush they rest.
Two riders canter up. Alas! Who can they be?
Two palace heralds in the yellow jackets dressed.
Decree in hand, which is imperial order, one says;
They turn the cart about and at the ox they shout.
A cartload of charcoal a thousand catties weighs;
They drive the cart away. What dare the old man say?
Ten feet of silk and twenty feet of gauze deep red,
That is the payment they fasten to the ox’shead.
(摘自许渊冲《许渊冲译白居易诗选》中译出版社 2021年,第131页)
许渊冲的译作重视“意美、音美、形美”具体分析如下:
优点:
一是,强烈的诗歌韵律与形式美。许译主要采用了双行押韵的韵式,并力求保持规整的节奏(以抑扬格五音步为主体),但并非字字句句完全符合严格的“英雄双韵体”格律。该译本读起来朗朗上口,在形式上将其提升为一首标准的、优美的英文诗歌。
二是,情感注入与戏剧化渲染:在“翩翩两骑来是谁?”后直接加入感叹词 “Alas!”(呜呼!),这是原诗没有的。许渊冲主动添加了叙述者的强烈情绪,引导读者共鸣,增强了戏剧张力。“官使驱将惜不得”译为“Theydrive the cart away. What dare the old man say?”(老翁岂敢言?)将“惜不得”的无奈转化为一个无力的反问句,极具感染力,直指阶级压迫的本质。
三是,用词精炼典雅:如“黄衣使者白衫儿”:译为“palace heralds in the yellow jackets dressed”,保留了“黄衣”意象,并用“heralds”(传令官)点明身份,搭配“dressed”押韵,处理巧妙。
可商榷之处:
首先,为押韵和格律而导致的语义偏移或增删:比较有争议的是“卖炭得钱何所营?“身上衣裳口中食”。译文为了与下一句“dust/black”押韵并凑足音节,增加了“not just enough”(仅仅不够)这层“入不敷出”的意思,这是对原意的细微但重要的添加,为了“雅”凌驾于“信”之上。千余斤的“余”字,未翻译出。“余”是约数,表“超过一千斤”,并非简单数字漏译,而是弱化了炭的实际重量。原诗‘千余斤’更能凸显‘一车炭的厚重’与‘半匹红纱一丈绫的轻薄’的对比,强化掠夺的不合理性。ware作“商品/制品”解时多为复数形式(wares),单数形式极少用于指代“炭”这种烧制物,英文母语者易产生理解偏差,且用该词代指炭,与卖炭翁“伐薪烧炭”的原始劳作属性不符,属于词汇使用的硬伤。
其次,文化意象的诗化归化:“市南门外泥中歇”“outsidethe southern gate is snow and slush they rest”。唐代长安城实行“坊市制度”,市南门是官方指定的交易区域,老翁在此歇脚是等待买主,这一背景能强化“辛苦等待却遭掠夺”的悲剧性,用许译“snow and slush”(雪和雪泥)替代了“泥”,意象虽符合英语诗歌的审美,但削弱了“泥泞不堪”的污浊与艰辛感。
再次,部分句式因韵律而显拗口:如“For cold weather will keep up thecharcoal’s good price.” 这句为了凑足五音步和押韵,表达略显生硬直白。
总之,许译对于重视诗歌审美体验的读者,这是一个杰出版本;对于追求逐字精确的研究者,则需要谨慎对待其中的意译部分。
纸上得来终觉浅,绝知此事要躬行。本人不揣深浅,斗胆把自己试译拙作献丑,向前辈和大师致敬!
The Old CharcoalBurner
By Bai Juyi (772–846)
Translated by WangYongli
Beneath the southernhills he hews the pine and oak,
To burn intocharcoal—his lifelong yoke.
His face is veiledwith smoke’s dark dye,
His templesfrost-white, his fingers black as ink.
The coins he earns butbuy him coat and bread,
Yet in thin rags heprays the cold winds spread.
He longs for morefrost, more chill, more snow,
Lest warm days melthis only hope and woe.
Last night the townwas clad in snow one foot deep,
At dawn he urges hisox through frost bound steep.
Both man and beast areworn to the core,
By South Gate’s mudthey rest their weary frame.
Who come with proudshouts and prancing pace?
Two palace heralds inyellow and white robes of rank.
They rush forth with ascroll of imperial edict,
And turn his cartwhere their command is strict.
A thousand-odd cattiesof charcoal, hard-baked long,
Taken for naught byimperial wrong.
This silk they tieupon the ox’s horn—
The paltry pay forcharcoal he hath borne.
(A trophy torn from thestarving old man.)
在意美方面,我力图保留原诗悲悯、控诉、沉郁的灵魂,不直译、不生硬,用英文母语者最能共情的诗意表达。增加了注释(对饥寒人的掠夺),便于英语读者理解宫廷以不等值丝织物掠夺卖炭翁一车木炭的核心内涵。
在形美方面,我力图句式长短均衡、对仗工整,视觉上如诗行排列,庄重典雅,符合世界对“东方诗” 的审美。
在音美方面,我力图全诗双行严格押韵,节奏如唐诗般抑扬顿挫,英文朗诵如吟唱。
当然,本人才疏学浅,拙作还存在许多不足,希望大家不吝赐教。本人愿意为中华文化出海减少“文化折扣”尽绵薄之力。
总之,在今天文化出海的时代语境下,把《卖炭翁》译好、传好、立住,意义早已超出一首诗本身。它不仅是让世界看见中国古典文学的力量,更是让人类共通的苦难、善良与正义,在不同文明之间彼此照亮。(王永利)
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